Are Imaginary Monsters A Hazard?

Apparently, parts of the bottom of legendary Loch Ness in Scotland are covered with golf balls.

"WHEN the US scientists lowered their high tech, cameras 800ft into Loch Ness, they were prepared for anything – except golf balls.

"It is believed holidaymakers and locals are using the loch as a golf range.

"Mike O’Brien. of Louisiana-based Sea Trepid. sent remote cameras down in the hope of discovering Nessie for the US TV show, Monster Quest.

"He said: “There’s a lot of debris down there, including, literally, a coating of golf balls. It’s a shame really.”

Naturally, extreme environmentalists used this news as a platform to espouse their views, calling golf balls "mankind's signature litter." To folks like that, I say that they make too much hot air and by shutting their mouths they might reduce global warming a degree or two. Really, it makes perfect sense to take prudent care of our planet, but some folks are off the deep end in their viewpoints. Actually in both directions, but that's a story for another day on another blog.

Whimsically, let's take a look at the rules of the game and see how they can help us in a situation like the Loch Ness Monster. I realize that the R&A covers Scotland, where Loch Ness is, but under USGA Decision 1-4/10 addresses the case where a player's ball has come to rest in a place that is dangerous to the player, such as near a live rattlesnake, alligator, or a bees' nest. Take relief using Rule 25-1b, if the golfer feels that they are in imminent danger. If I smacked a legendary sea monster on the head with a Pro V-1, however, that might be the least of my worries.